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I am having such an emotional week. Coming back from vacation, having a huge fight with my boss, and yesterday Casper's vet used the term "malignant". When he first told me that she had a tumor, he didn't use the term malignant. In last nights conversation he said that the sample showed signs of being malignant, but that because it wasn't a mast cell and because it was being affected by the antibiotics that we should wait and see. He is afraid that if we try to take it off that we can't get good enough margins. He told me that he didn't think that it was the kind of thing that spreads, so a "wait & see" approach might be best. Logically I understand that. It is the same thing with Maddie and her sarcoids. But godddamn I wish he hadn't said malignant.
I think that being away from home for almost a month now is wearing on me. While I adore my time at the farm, I am usually here by myself and a month is long enough. Casper will be coming back for the weekend and I should be home by next Wednesday.
Speaking of the farm.
(I know I seem to leave Butch out, but he and I have a funny, long distance phone relationship while I am at the farm. It's kind of comical. I have spoken to him 3 times in three hours, so I miss him being here, too, but I am in constant contact with him.)
Oh dear, hugs for Casper, and you. Sometimes I could sock doctors and vets. They'll use words like malignant, and THEN go on and try to reassure you that it might not be that serious. Just don't use the word, until you know for sure.
ReplyDeletetake her to someone ( cornell?)who can get a good resection and repair, get a pathology and put your mind to ease. Or seek a second opiniion of a good dermatologist I just dont see you sleeping well until you do.
ReplyDeleteDouble hugs from me and a big smooch to herself.